george carlin government doesn't care about you

It's like "pre-recorded" "This program was pre-recorded." After that, they don't want to know about you. And don't you love the way these kind of people pervert the English language? His insights on the world of politics were always keen and often quite funny. The planet doesn't need that. So they killed a lot of white English people, in order to continue owning their black African people, so they could wipe out of the rest of the red Indian people, so they move west and steal the rest of the land from the brown Mexican people, giving them a place to take off and drop their nuclear weapons on the yellow Japanese people. In the end, there are people who don't fit into the marketplace and are not equipped. He was a true outspoken man that we can emulate in many ways. When it comes to Gods existence, Im not an atheist and Im not an agnostic. Skip the clouds and get to the fucking. ""Deep Throat: Think about it. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. We get to choose which forms of life we feel are sacred, and we get to kill the rest. There's nothing wrong with suckin' dicks. Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up. George Carlin, 64. You dont have to be a historian or a political scientist to see the bigger-dick foreign policy at work. It's an arrogant thing to place a burning barrier between you and the rest of the world. This country is full of nitwits and assholes. We made the whole fucking thing up! You don't do all this moron stuff. Must be another one of those miracles.. You want somethin' hot to suck on? That's it one swing fuck you, you're out sit down! Are these people kidding? Let's kill a beautiful tree that's been alive for seventy-five years and bring it to New York City. I wish for a cowboy to walk crooked, and with great pain, for the rest of his life. Everybody complains about politicians. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Reminds me of something my grandfather would say. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. George Carlin, 51. No. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them. Ice Cube Shares George Carlin Quote About Politicians: 'They Own You' I decided to look around for something else to worship. The mayfly lives only one day. "Yes." I want people to know that I take care with my writing, and try to keep my standards high. And even if it's something that anyone would really want that much. But once youre born, youre on your own. If you can find a solution to homelessness where the corporations and politicians can make a few million dollars each, you will see the streets of America begin to clear up pretty damn quick! George Carlin, 67. They own, and control the corporations. Put it in your pocket and go the fuck home, you're a winner! And complaining about the politicians. Its a subconscious need to project the penis into other peoples affairs. And they're elected by American voters. It's true. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity. ""I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. Live and let live. They own everything. Well suppose the thing you want isn't in God's Divine Plan? His parents divorced when he was two months old, and he . Where are these people hiding? Religion has convinced people that theres an invisible man living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. Maybe a little Styrofoam. That's my advice. RT @WideAwake444: Government doesn't care about you. it simply doesn't give a fuck about you. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesnt want you to do. But the Government Said I Have Rights | The Anarchist Library ""Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Its because volunteers work for no pay. Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other peoples stuff. No contest! It was stolen!" What a fucking disgrace that place is! A crazy person will beat nine people to death with a steel dildo, but he'll be wearing a Bugs Bunny suit at the time. So arrogant. 19. Are these people kidding? And because most of this stuff is really lame, it's embarrassing to see my name on it. [] I'm not interested. Author of the memoir The Young People Who Traverse Dimensions While Wearing Sunglasses. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. "(pop, pop) Been up all week, man! We have the war on crime, the war on cancer, the war on drugs. They average over one hundred and fifty acres a piece that's three million plus acres, four thousand, eight hundred and twenty square miles you could build two Rhode Islands and a Delaware for the homeless on the land currently being wasted on this meaningless, mindless, arrogant, elitist, racistthere's another thing; the only blacks you'll find at country clubs are carrying traysand a boring game. So he's gotta do everything he can to fuck the other guy a little bit faster and a little bit harder. When else are you gonna record it, afterwards? (101), Irony deals with opposites; it has nothing to do with coincidence. I love that. If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent politicians, and they get into office and screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. a few weeks ago, comedy at its best pushes our buttons and challenges our ways of thinking. So we keep ourselves limited. They never mention that part to us, do they? George Carlin, 50. And what can we do to silence these Christian athletes who thank Jesus whenever they win, never mention his name when they lose? Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. In fact, George Carlin had some pretty interesting things to say about government. This entire country is completely full of shit, and, Clinton might be full of shit, but at least he lets ya know it! But limited time only, though, so act now, order today, send no money. Yeup, sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize the government doesn't give a fuck about them. Everybody's going to save something now. The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, 17. Because if everything is really the fault of politicians, where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans who are ready to step in and replace them? You don't. You have no choice. I, George Carlin, being of sound mind, do not wish, upon my demise, to be buried or cremated. You know, why should it be illegal to sell something thats perfectly legal to give away? Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, 26. 11. Share your thoughts in the comments below! Thats what all that asshole jock bullshit is all about. Here are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. Bomb them!" Anyone who can't go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. No nothing. Looking for the best George Carlin quotes? Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Shit, white people ought to understand their job is to give people the blues, not to get them and certainly not to sing or play them. That's a good combination! Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. George Carlin, 27. The rights and the rights of property. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. George Carlin, 70. This is what our system produces, folks. 4. Quote by George Carlin: "Now, there's one thing you might - Goodreads ", Variations of this piece have also been misattributed to, "Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body". The less said about it the better. George Carlin, 38. An art thief is a man who takes pictures. Stop that! If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, 37. 5. Who the fuck is going to invade the US? And besides telling you things you shouldnt say, religion is gonna suggest some things that you ought to be saying; Heres something you ought to say first thing when you wake up in the morning; heres something you ought to say just before you go to sleep at night; heres something we always say on the third Wednesday in April after the first full moon in spring at 4 oclock when the bells ring. Religion is always suggesting things you ought to be saying. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. If you take five white guys and put 'em with five black guys, and let 'em hang around together for about a month, and at the end of the month, you'll notice that the white guys are walking and talking and standing like the black guys do. The Trump administration is channeling George Carlin's "Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television." It has banned seven words and phrases from the Centers for Disease Control and . And, of course, the funniest food: "kumquats". A gynecologist who wants my wife to have three or four drinks before the examination. Maybe evenremember them? Every single person, you can see the universe in their eyes if you're really looking. Fertilization. It will be a coincidence. Oh, my goodness. That's what they told us they were, remember? Doesn't it strike you as mildly ironic that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place? And that of course was at the end of the Civil War. Something lofty and poetic: "Nay Family Way"; something earthhy and crude: "Mom Bomb"; something for the youngsters, "Junior Miss"; here's a real man's product, "Inconceivable"! 'Cause everything in this country is king size, extra-large and super jumbo. "All of you over here, you seven? For twelve dollars. Quote by George Carlin: "Forget the politicians. The politicians are And now they're coming for your Social Security money. I don't believe in road rage; I prefer the gentle rebuke. Of course, I wouldn't abandon the religious theme completely. Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin, 20. ""Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that. George Carlin is Back from the Dead to Haunt Trump in Devastating ""George Washington's brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country. I think "spokesman" ought to be "spokesperson," I think "chairman" ought to be "chairperson," I think "mankind" ought to be "humankind." George Carlin was one of the more popular and influential comics to emerge from the 1960s counterculture. Next time you're at a wishing well. 47. What the fuck do white people have to be blue about? And Bushis pushing this country farther down the hill, faster than anyone has before. They own everything. But hey, reverend, there are two knobs on the radio! not understanding that George Carlin was the type of person to roast one side, and when the other side started cheering he would turn and . By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. In America, anyone can become president. They own, and control the corporations. George Carlin I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam. Help me find some shoes I really like. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, 73. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin, 49. Feel free to reach out and connect. What do you say? Its only a piece of cloth. George Carlin, 75.The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful of insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. 87 Best George Carlin Quotes On Education, Politics & Life Then you get kicked out for being too healthy. Two is all you need; Moses could have carried them down the hill in his fuckin' pocket, and I wouldn't mind. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, 44. Seems like a big waste of time to me! So arrogant. The sanctity of life doesn't seem to apply to cancer cells, does it? 26. The rights and the rights of property. People are wonderful one at a time. Because everyone is trying to save the planet. This page was last edited on 1 April 2023, at 02:51. To me, war is a lot of prick-waving! Anything differentthat's what they're gonna talk aboutrace, religion, ethnic and national background, jobs, income, education, social status, sexuality, anything they can do to keep us fighting with each other, so that they can keep going to the bank! Produced by Will Reid and Michael Simon Johnson. There's such balance in nature. I am perfectly willing to share the room with a fly, as long as he is patrolling that portion of the room I dont occupy. And do people really watch this shit? But even after the egg is fertilized, it's still six or seven days before it reaches the uterus and pregnancy begins, and not every egg makes it that far. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. George Carlin. You have owners. The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it. ""These days many politicians are demanding change. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. You rarely see a bumper sticker that says: Save the tumors. Or I brake for advanced melanoma. No, viruses, mold, mildew, maggots, fungus, weeds, E. Coli bacteria, the crabs. There are battered husbands. This is the best we can do folks. What do you want Him to do? And complaining about the politicians. A man with only one lip. First thing- "Hey! Doesn't it seem a little arrogant? Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate We earn from qualifying purchases. When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, 48. - George Carlin. You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. George Carlin, 34. Carlin got famous for his bit about the "words you can't say on television," but his legacy speaks of so much more, wisdom and wit that deserve to live on through the ages. And don't let me be hit by a flying turd. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. The larger the group, the more toxic, the more of your beauty as an individual you have to surrender for the sake of group thought. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. George Carlin, 25. Because I think we squandered great gifts. I don't understand why prostitution is illegal. When youre born in America, you get a front-row seat. He was a "political" comic the way George Orwell was a "political" writer. Actually, I dont care, I drink it anyway. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice., Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups., If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else., Political correctness cripples discourse, creates ugly language and is generally stupid., Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out., When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person., If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders., If you have selfish and ignorant citizens then you too will become a selfish and bad leader.. Believe me, my friend. People are selfish. Offer good while supplies last. I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. Everyones at the mall, scratching his balls and buying sneakers with lights in them. But you'll see guys with red hair named Duffy going, "What's happenin'?". "Thy Will Be Done." OK? For myself, I have solved this political dilemma in a very direct way. The Divine Plan. Have you ever noticed that the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving problems is to declare war on it? 30. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, 83.Theres a reason education sucks, and its the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. Not a word. Were so self-important. Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away? Fewer Texans. Doesn't happen 'cause chickens are decent people. Its interested in its own power. I hate groups of people but I love individuals. Bullshit is everywhere. And immediately, I thought of the sun. The map is going to change and that's because -- people think nature is outside of them. There are only two states an oven can possibly exist in: Heated or unheated! A brain surgeon with "Born to Lose" tattooed on his hands. We're so self-important. But it can't happen, "I want to live my next life backwards: You start out dead and get that out of the way. A comedian can say things that you may not want to hear but need to. During bombing raids in Iraq, the media liked to say that Saddam Hussein used people as, The fanatics have another name for fetuses. And you might have noticed something else. You know why? In this blog post, we'll take a look at some of Carlin's most famous quotes on government. They own you. This country is big-time pig time Change the bald eagle to a big bowl of macaroni and cheese. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked." "Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, 3. About Us | Privacy Policy | Terms | Contact Us, Ronald Reagan Religious Quotes To Live Your Life As A True Believer, www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-carlin-quotes, www.quotes.thefamouspeople.com/george-carlin-1484.php, www.everydaypower.com/george-carlin-quotes. Pointless careerism? Here's what happened: I give you my revised list of the Two Commandments: "Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie", and "thou shalt try real hard not to kill anyone, unless of course they pray to a different invisible man than the one you pray to". Have you noticed that there are some people, who when they lose something, their first reaction is that it had to be stolen? But what's the alternative? And you know, I always wanted to work in a delicatessen just so that a woman would come in one day and ask me to. George Carlin These people were given. But he does sell drugs to your honor student. God? Its called dick fear! Men are terrified that their pricks are inadequate and so they have to compete with one another, to feel better about themselves, and since war is the ultimate competition, basically, men are killing each other in order to improve their self-esteem! A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality and its not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street. George Carlin, 68. It's a subconscious need to project the penis into other people's affairs. Thats the problem., I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country., Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance., Forget the politicians. From a distance so I can see it all. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this fuckin' place. Just like homeless people. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. What? You see all, sooner or later. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. George Carlin, 60. The people are [bleeped out]. It's interested in it's own power. Nature is in here. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. 31. Rights arent rights if someone can take them away. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Were gonna save the fuckin planet? Selling is legal. If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin, 32. As we saw from my piece on Louis C.K. I never fucked a 10, but one night I fucked 5 twos! I think that speaks for itself. 36. ", So about 80 years after the Constitution is ratified, the slaves are freed. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. Enjoy! And the proof of it, the proof of it is, they don't even trust each other. You kick him squarely in the nuts, and you get the fuck out of there as fast as you can, and you go tell somebody right away; you tell as many grown-up people as you canone of them is bound to believe you. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. If Easter Island gives us some crap tomorrow, we have a plan in a computer that tells us exactly how to thoroughly bomb the shit out of Easter Island. It's a Divine Plan. Nothing sacred about those things. A country with a five-trillion-dollar debt is giving advice on handling money? "Pre-heated" is a meaningless fucking term! They dont mention anything about cursing a lack of candles. So they killed a lot of white English people in order to continue owning their black African people, so they could wipe out the rest of the red Indian people, in order to move west and steal the rest of the land from the brown Mexican people, giving them a place to take off and drop their nuclear weapons on the yellow Japanese people. "That's a, There are two-way words, like, it's okay for Curt Gowdy to say, "Roberto Clemente has two balls on him!"

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